Life in the Lavender House of the Do-Nald of Marradia: An Alternative Universe of Alternative Facts

Chapter Two, Part Two


Strangely, Oyveyus did not like the taste of Owaa and was annoyed that tradition prevented him from drinking his favorite drink, a strong beer brewed from a mix of radishes, potatoes, and turnips. He was standing by the large buffet table, eating canape. Lots and lots of canape. The food helped take away the taste of the orange drink. Noticing his children approaching the table, he smiled and waved at them.

Shouldering their ways through the mob that surrounded Oyveyus, his son and daughter approached him. “Hello, Spud (“Dad” in Marradian) said Edgar, a tall, handsome young man with bright red hair. He looked very well in the green dress Oyveyus obtained for him; it matched his green eyes perfectly, and the emerald necklace was an excellent touch.

“I just had a fantastic idea, children,” said Oyveyus, waving his sandwich. “I want you both to join the Great Council as Special Advisors to the Do-Nald.”

“But Spud, much as would like to oblige you, I must return to my regiment tomorrow,” said Edgar. “It won’t look well if I stop slaughtering the rebels, you know.“

“I guess you are right, Edgar,” said Oyveyus. “I forgot. You must go on with your valuable work. What about you, Plumeria? It will be fun.”

Plumeria thought. “Well, it depends. I have school, of course, and this month I have two oil-related field trips… is being on the Great Council a part-time job?”

“Of course it is a part-time job!” said Oyveyus, surprised at the question. “None of this diplomacy thing is a full-time job. My job as the Do-Nald is not going to stop me from running my corporations, not to mention designing lingerie, which must always be cutting edge. And I am sure no one is trying to prevent me from flying to the Zebra Resort for the weekends… I think I will fly the whole Great Council to Zebra Resort on weekends. They will enjoy having our meetings there.”

“Then I will be happy to join,” said Plumeria. “Special Advisor to the Do-Nald sounds nice, Spud. Thanks!”

“I will have to tell  the accountant that they need to pay you a good salary,” said Oyveyus thoughtfully. “Oh, here is Madame Megillah! Are you having a good time, Madame? I would like to introduce my children to you, Edgar and Plumeria. Children, Madame Megillah Gharial, the delegate from the Reptilian Galaxy.”

“I am delighted to meet you, Madame Gharial,” said Plumeria enthusiastically. “I have never been to your system. I understand you have the most significant deposits of Carbon Shale. I would so love to explore them some day.”

“Are you studying geology?” asked Madame Megillah.

“The specialty is Geological Economy,” said Plumeria. “A combination of geology and business management.”

“How fascinating,” said Madame Megillah. “I would like to extend an invitation to you, Miss Plumeria, with Chancellor Truffle’s permission, to visit our galaxy. I can arrange excellent field trips for you with some of my university friends.”

“That would be very nice for Plumeria,” said Oyveyus. He suddenly noticed that Edgar was staring at Madame Megillah with his mouth open, an expression of horror on his face. Clearly, a woman wearing a male evening dress was shocking to him. The boy must learn some manners, thought Oyveyus. His life was too sheltered, spending so much time slaughtering several species; he needs to associate with a more sophisticated crowd.

“Good grief, the Anunnaki is coming over,” said Oyveyus in a whisper. The group turned to see Sinhar Inannaschamra approaching with a smile on her beautiful face.

“What a delight to see you again, said Madame Megillah to Sinhar Inannaschamra. “It has been years since I had the honor of meeting you at the Intergalactic Conference. I hear you have written a new book!”

“The honor was all mine,” said Sinhar Inannaschamra graciously. “Yes, my Planetary Liquid Agriculture is being published.”

“This is not my field, but I will certainly read this book, Sinhar Inannaschamra! What an exciting title!”

“Thank you, Miss Plumeria,” said Sinhar Inannaschamra, who never forgot a name and always treated children with the same respect she treated royalty. “I will send you a copy as soon as the book is out.” She glanced at Edgar, but he was still gawking at Madame Megillah’s dress.

“This is a most exciting evening,” said Plumeria after thanking Sinhar Inannaschamra. “A fascinating new book, an invitation to explore the Carbon Shale deposits, and a position of Special Advisor to the Do-Nald on the Great Council! Wow!”

“A position of Special Advisor?” asked Madame Megillah, intrigued. “You are selecting your own children as advisors?”

“Why not?” said the Do-Nald, surprised. He sipped a little Owaa, made a face, and stuffed another canape in his mouth.

“Well,” said Sinhar Inannaschamra diplomatically, “some people may object to a family member of the Do-Nald occupying such an official position, because they may not have much experience…”

“Nah, nobody would care,” said Oyveyus in a good natured way. “They all know Plumeria. Edgar is not coming; he is still busy with his current job.”

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